Personal Account: White Zone Citizen No. 2713 "R. Darkshines"

And so afterwards it all seemed a bit surreal. At first we had the newspapers telling us about a strange new virus and how people had to take precautions. Most people just shrugged it off as another scare, like SARS or Swine Flu. But thats the trouble when the media keeps crying wolf, when the Big One does come, no-one believes anymore. So yeah, there were stories in the newspapers, then the radio broadcasts started. Hourly shows about how to avoid infection, what to do if a family member dies, the latest outbreaks. Then the press stopped. The papers stopped printing, the radio switched to white noise, no more public service announcements. I heard that some people from Roath went down to London to see what was going on, but they didn't come back. That was four years ago.

Of course I miss my family, who wouldn't? My next door neighbour lost her child, went looking for him outside in the Black Zone. I heard the screams, but I just shut the curtains.

I don't want to go and look for them. If they are alive and safe, then thats great. If they are not alive, well, at least they have two choices....

I scavenge what I can. Food isn't a problem, well, it might be in a few years but we were sensible. Every time we ate something with seeds in, we'd plant them. To be honest, I had been planning something like this all my life. I always felt that when the media and literature talked about the Fin De Siecle, about the degeneration of society, that this time round it might be true. I mean look at the Ancient Egyptians, and the mighty Romans. They too had great empires that collapsed under mysterious circumstances, didn't they? Maybe it happened to them as well.

Its harder being a girl as well. The boys get drafted, get trained, get given weapons to defend us. I'm expected to stay where I am, scavenge some kind of existence from the little thats left. I hate it. I want to fight as well, I know I would be good in combat, but women are rare nowadays, and they need the last of us to survive. I think the idea is that when its safe again, once the infection stops, or dies out or they find a cure, we wil be used for breeding a new society. I'm amazed anybody would want my genes to be honest, and I have no idea how they plan to go about it anyway. Do they just line up all the soldiers outside your room and let them in one by one? Hideous.

I know he's out there somewhere. This is his dream come true. I know he is alive, pobably having the time of his life as well. I hope he still thinks about me, like I think about him. We were going to get married one day. I was going to wear a dress, for once. I haven't even seen a dress since this all started. I do love him, but I cried all my tears a long time ago, and I feel like I am wasting precious energy when I could be trying to survive. I have seen what happens to the weak.

Perhaps one day I will get bored, and go somewhere else. It's dangerous to leave the White Zones but I am young and restless. I have no family left, at least none here, and the other half of my soul is out there, fighting for us, making a difference. I know I am a precious commodity, but so is our freedom. Maybe I can find a way to stop all of this. Maybe I could make a difference as well. All I know is, sitting around waiting for the end is pointless. I want to go and find my begining.